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Advance Praise for Making Divorce Work by Diana Mercer and Katie Jane Wennechuk
“Making Divorce Work is an absolutely essential work. This is the book everyone getting
divorced needs to get through the difficulties of breaking up and going
on with your life. Divorce clears the way for a new beginning,
but it is too often a bad beginning unless people make use of the
wise and practical advice this book contains. And this book is
especially a must read for people with children. I am thrilled to
be able to recommend this book to people who need it."
-- Mira Kirshenbaum, author of ten books including Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay and When Good People Have Affairs
“Making Divorce Work translates Diana and Katie’s unique mediation model into skills anyone
can use and that will revolutionize the way people get divorced.”
--Len Jacoby, founder, Jacoby & Meyers Law Offices
“Imagine a world in which instead of
ruining your life your divorce could help you redefine your goals for
yourself and your family. Now there is a book which shows you how to
make this happen in 8 simple steps: Making Divorce Work.
-- Nell Merlino, author, Stepping Out of Line: Lessons for Women Who Want It Their Way in Life, in Love, and at Work and
CEO and Founder, Count Me In for Women’s Economic Independence and the
creative force behind Take Our Daughters to Work Day.
“One of the saddest episodes we ever
go through in life is to engage in pitched battle with someone to whom
we once said adoringly, “I do.”
Divorce is agonizing enough for many of us, without the
added heartbreak of venom and hatred spewing into the lives of family
and friends—especially children, whose stability is being ripped apart
and whose loyalty may be torn between mom and dad.
Here now comes a book that is chock full of simple,
everyday, practical steps that can ease our way through a minefield so
we come out not just with our sanity intact, but actually far more
conscious as individuals. Its countless insights show how a
breakup—whether we want it or wish to God it weren’t happening—can end
up actually advancing our wellbeing.
You’ll use Making Divorce Work as a daily manual, shoring up every facet of your life from emotional
to financial. Save yourself a lot of pain—and share it with friends who
are already in pain.”
-- David Robert Ord, author of Your Forgotten Self and Lessons in Loving—A Journey into the Heart
“Divorce professionals must teach clients how to be effective informed clients and Making Divorce Work should be the foundation of client learning. Building on her
reputation as a leading client educator as established in the
bestselling Your Divorce Advisor, Diana Mercer and her co-author Katie Jane Wennechuk have written the
book that every person facing a divorce must have. Many divorce books
can be read---this book must be studied. The authors not only
intuitively and insightfully understand what people going through
divorce need and how they feel, they also offer self-help tools
such as writing a Divorce Mission Statement to help readers
prepare for success through this life challenging event. I predict that
in the future, people will select their professionals, in part, as to
whether this book is front and center in their client libraries and
whether the divorce professional can use Making Divorce Work as a client guide to supplement their competent advice and expertise.”
-- Forrest (Woody) Mosten, Collaborative Lawyer and Mediator and author of Collaborative Divorce Handbook, Mediation Career Guide, Unbundling Legal Services, and Complete Guide to Mediation.
“It is said the emotional impact of divorce is up there with traumas
such as a death of a loved one and moving house. It is also likely
there only few other human experiences guaranteed to bring out the worst
in us. There are many who today live with ongoing regret and shame for
the unconscious reactive behavior they entered because of a disastrous
divorce experience – not to mention the amount of children emotionally
scared because of it. This gloomy scenario is no longer necessary. Making Divorce Work brings consciousness, clarity, practical applicable wisdom, and common
sense insight into what is undeniably one of the most heart-wrenching
experiences any human being may have to face. In Making Divorce Work,
authors Diana Mercer and Katie Jane Wennechuck skillfully provide us
with a practical, conscious, creative, and healing tool to support not
only those moving through this experience, but also those wishing to be
of greater support when their loved ones are faced with such an
extreme life change. Divorce no longer has to be the emotional tsunami
we have been programmed to anticipate – now it can serve as an
opportunity for experiencing profound growth in personal relationships,
emotional development, and as a platform from which to creatively
initiate a transformed life experience.”
-- Michael Brown, author of The Presence Process and Alchemy of the Heart
As someone who educates future lawyers, I was deeply
humbled by the wisdom, practical insights, and compassion of Making Divorce Work. Making Divorce Work is
the product of Diana Mercer’s 25-years of experience and, more
importantly, her persistent desire to promote the best interests of her
clients during the dark and turbulent days of divorce. Mercer’s
focus on her clients eventually produced a collaborative
multidisciplinary practice with non-lawyer professionals like her
co-author, Katie Jane Wennechuk. I am convinced this
approach is the future of family law practice. Anyone who has
ever been in a longterm relationship will have a hard time putting this
book down. My students now have at least one clear guidepost for
how an observant and thoughtful lawyer can have a profoundly positive
effect on the lives of her clients. Law can indeed be a
vocation—something much more than a career.
I am going to give a copy of Making Divorce Work to any friend or family member who is confronted with this
situation. And I am most grateful to Mercer and Wennechuk for
showing me how to make my own marriage stronger and more
fulfilling.
-- Wiliam D. Henderson, Professor, Indiana University Maurer School of Law.
“Making Divorce Work is a fresh approach to a topic that has received much attention but
continues to be a significant transition and painful process with long
term implications for the health of all family members. With all
the self help books that have been written about divorce, what possibly
could be new to say? These authors offer practical and down-to-earth
advice for managing difficult feelings and cultivating the co-parenting
relationship so that you can live with yourself –and your ex-- during
and after the divorce. The authors’ emphasis on finding inner peace,
and turning that peace outwards gives the message that you can divorce
in a way that facilitates learning about yourself, taking
responsibility for your actions, dealing peaceably with your ex-,
and liking who you are even better at the end of the day. This is
no easy feat to accomplish, but Making Divorce Work will make you feel like it is truly an attainable goal.”
-- Marsha Kline Pruett, Ph.D., M.S.L., co-author of Your Divorce Advisor
“Read this book before you talk to a lawyer! You will save yourself tons of heartache, talk and money.
If you already have a lawyer, read this before you utter another word to them.
Share this book with a friend or family member who is divorcing, it
will be the kindest, most generous thing you could ever do for them.
They will thank you and their children will thank you -- for
years to come. This book is a game changer!”
-- Lisa Earle McLeod, author of The Triangle of Truth: The Surprisingly Simple Secret to Resolving Conflicts Large and Small and Forget Perfect
“Mercer and Wennechuk have written a wise and thoughtful book that
will spare anyone going through a divorce much trauma. This
is how law ought to be practiced---with compassion for the lives of
those going through a major life change, and pragmatic and grounded
advice for making life on the other side not only possible, but
powerful.”
-- Lauren Robel, Dean and Val Nolan Professor, Indiana University Maurer School of Law
“When I studied law nearly 50 years
ago divorces were granted on the basis of “fault.” Today fault is no
longer a legal issue, but cultural influences still bring fault into
the dissolution process which is too often filled with disappointment,
anger, and grief. This book walks the reader through the various
provocations and events which can take place in the dissolution process
and provides common sense, helpful suggestions on how to envision and
pursue a successful life during and after the dissolution. The purpose
of this book is not to reduce the divorce rate, which has been steady
at 40%, but to “reduce the negativity and recovery time associated with
it.”
-- Gerald L. Bepko.
Chancellor Emeritus, Indiana University Purdue University
Indianapolis, Former Dean, IU School of Law Indianapolis
“In Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys for Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life, Diana
Mercer and Katie Wennechuk offer a practical, realistic and helpful
guide for making the best of divorce. Mercer and Wennechuk make a
compelling case for those getting divorced keeping control over their
family by avoiding "scorched earth" approaches to divorce. Best
of all, the authors offer a structure and set of specific approaches
and techniques to make the best of divorce. As so many families
know, divorce does not end the family, but calls for re-definition and
re-building of a new family understanding. Hats off to the authors
for this valuable and timely guide to making the best of divorce.”
--James C. Melamed, J.D., CEO Mediate.com
“This book teaches divorcing spouses the crucial non-legal
lessons they need to learn in order to weather the storms of an
acrimonious divorce. It provides focused insights, useful
strategies, and wise counsel -- from the perspective of mediators who
have witnessed the dangers of ignoring the truth of their advice.
Buy it and keep it by your bedside throughout your dissolution
process!”
-- Frederick Hertz, lawyer/mediator, author of Making It Legal: A Guide to Same-Sex Marriage, Domestic Partnerships & Civil Unions
“Even without experiencing it
personally, one need only look around to see how devastating epic
divorce court battles are to the physical, emotional and financial
health of the parties and to those around them. Making Divorce Work is
an approach to divorce whereby thoughtful people can choose not to do
further damage to one another. Easy to read and engaging, the
book is helpful even if both parties are not committed to a peaceful
divorce and also in times when committed people lapse into unhealthy
behaviors and familiar but unproductive conflict patterns and have to
start all over again trying to have a peaceful divorce. The
authors, Diana Mercer and Katie Wennechuk, deal honestly with complex
and intense emotions like the desire to punish, feelings of betrayal,
anger, contempt and grief. They acknowledge the prevailing view
that divorce is supposed to be an extension of the unhealthy marriage
that gave rise to it. They understand the reality that once
engaged, typical advocates will litigate until their clients literally
have nothing left to fight over. The 8 Essential Keys help make
the trauma of living in a marriage that did not meet basic needs and
the additional trauma of having to end that marriage with the blunt
force tool of the ‘legal divorce’ into necessary first steps toward a
new life.”
-- V. Michelle Obradovic, owner of Wise Resolution, LLC and professor of law at Samford University’s Cumberland School of Law
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